TOP TEN THINGS A LOAN OFFICER DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR A REALTOR SAY TO THEIR NEWLY APPROVED CLIENT...

1. I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden.
2. Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground.
3. Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it.
4. One bleeding toilet doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted. 
5. Your neighbour has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees.
6. Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property.
7. Actually, it's quite common for roaches to grow that big, even when not in the presence of radioactivity.
8. Did you know that the band Grave Reaper holds their practice sessions right next door?
9. You can barely hear that sheet metal factory at night.
10. And finally.....    It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder.